Credit: Unknown found online.
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!
What sound does a witches car make? Broom Broom
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.
Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change color? He had a reptile dysfunction
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
A fire hydrant has H-2-O on the inside and K-9-P on the outside.
Credit: Unknown found online
Credit: Unknown (found online)
A Few Punny One-liners
Dogs can’t operate MRI scanners, but catscan.
Our mountains aren’t just funny, they’re hill areas.
Turning Vegan would be a missed steak.
Well, to be Frank I’d have to change my name.
Ban Shredded Cheese. Make America Grate again.
Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.
For chemists, alcohol is not a problem, it’s a solution.
I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
If a cow stumbles into a pot field, the steaks will never be higher.
Crushing pop cans is soda pressing.
Irony is the opposite of wrinkly.
If you suck at playing the trumpet, that’s probably why.
Our best friends know the worst about us, but refuse to believe it.