First grade teacher: “There are two words I don’t allow in my class. One is ‘gross’ and the other is ‘cool.'”
Rachel: “Yeah? So, what are the words?”
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Two Words
Tag: familyjokes
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Golfing Buddy
A nurse noticed a golfer pacing up and down outside the operating room where another golfer who had a golf ball driven down his throat was bring treated.
“Is he a relative of yours?” she asked.
“No,” said the golfer. “It’s my ball.”
(Source: Classic Jokes)
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Tequila
Found online, credit unknown
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Funny Doctor Joke
A man goes into the doctor.
He says, “Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something’s wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you’ll hear it!”
The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man’s thigh only to hear, “Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks.”
“I’ve never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has this been going on.” The doctor asked.
“That’s nothing Doc. put your ear to my knee.”
The doctor put his ear to the man’s knee and heard it say “Man, I really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks!!”
“Sir, I really don’t know what to tell you. I’ve never seen anything like this.” The doctor was dumbfounded.
“Wait Doc, that’s not it. There’s more, just put your ear up to my ankle,” the man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, “Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks please if you will.”
“I have no idea what to tell you,” the doctor said. “There’s nothing about it in my books,” he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. “I can make a well educated guess though. Based on life and all my previous experience I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places.”
