Outstanding

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of wheat.

He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?

“The farmer replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.

“How?” asks the man, puzzled.

“Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field.”


Not my original work.

Another True Story


We decided that lunch in Paynesville seemed like a nice idea, we enjoy Paynesville there is always something happening on the water, and it’s a great place for a relaxing walk.

We usually go to a particular place, which I won’t name for fear of embarrassing them, because we know the fish is always well cooked and fresh, and they seem to be one of the few places that can get a “serve for 2” just right. And the coffee is always the best!

So into the shop we go, speak to the lovely lady behind the counter and she takes our order. She tells us it will be about 15 minutes, so we say we’ll go for a walk and come back. As we approach the door to leave, I overhear the same lovely lady say to someone else behind the counter “That’s for the older man and the girl in the long skirt”

Since we were the only two in the shop fitting that description, guessing she was talking about us! “Older man” and “girl” – I like that lady!!



Photo by Jessica Lewis Creative on Pexels.com

A day in the garden

Is it still correct to say “tip” or should it be something like Waste Disposal site?   I don’t know, anyway, we had spent the day in the garden, trimming back bushes, lopping off dead branches and sweeping up leaves, leaving us with a lovely trailer load of green waste to be taken to the tip (waste recycle center?)

Having finished loading it all, we looked at the time and realised we did not have much time to get there before the tip closed. So we jumped in the car and took off!

We arrived in time at the tip, and after speaking with the attendant (who generally waves us through as he sees us so often!) we proceeded to the instructed area and backed the trailer up.

As we were finishing up, I jumped up into the trailer and started sweeping the last of the twigs and dirt out with the broom. 

To set the scene,  because we had been in the garden all day, I was wearing leggings and big T-Shirt over that, hair all messy as I had forgotten to tie it back before we started, and had quickly exchanged my work boots for thongs before we left home.

So there I am, sweeping out the trailer, and I observe another vehicle coming towards us, obviously intending to back in beside us.  I jumped down out of the trailer and walked towards the car.  As I got in the car, the “gentleman” in the approaching vehicle attracted my attention, and when I engaged with him, he said

“I was just watching you and thinking now there’s a tough old tart in her bare feet”  (the thongs are flesh colored and I have since seen that they do in fact, from a distance, look like you have no shoes on)

I got such a shock!  But could not be offended as he was smiling and laughing when he realised I did in fact, have shoes on!

“Well, thanks I think”  I said!  Not sure whether to laugh or cry!  

Did I look a) old? Or b)like a tart?

Upon reflection I did think he was probably right!  I did look like a tough old tart!  My long grey hair not helping with the vision, blown all over the place by the wind!

So, dear man, if you are reading this, you know who you are – and you did take a big risk by saying what you did!  I might well have been very offended!  However, you conveyed your thoughts in such a funny and light hearted way, it would have been childish to be offended. Perhaps it was, in it’s own way, a compliment!  At least, that’s the way I choose to take it.

We drove away laughing – and the sentence has found it’s way into family history – to be trotted out on numerous occasions for ever after! And unlike some of my other stories, this one is all true!

Photo by Jill Wellington on Pexels.com

Humorous Headlines

Not my original

Include Your Children when Baking Cookies

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

President Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant


Probably best to read your headline before printing!!

The End

Today marked the end of a dream. Perhaps one that was fated to fail from the beginning. The dream was so big, and would have been a unique asset to the Gippsland Lakes, but high costs and mismanagement saw it flounder and die a long and painful death.

Perhaps there are many reasons why the project we all got so excited about failed, and I’m sure many reasons could be presented. But, the project’s end remains a mystery, with no one willing to stand up and explain what really happened. Name changes, and blocks on Facebook might suggest a far deeper problem than a surface glance might suggest.

Questions as to what happened to donated money, where do people who won raffles for a gala dinner or a free ride on Curlips maiden voyage stand. Were these prizes even legal, given that Curlip was out of the water sitting on hard stands on Slip Road at the time with little to no expectation that the prize could ever be redeemed. What has happened to the very expensive planks people purchased with their family names on, and what has been, or will be done, with the steam engine. Will it be sold to recover costs? No one stepped up to give answers to the many people who gave, not only time and money, but love, enthusiasm and commitment to the project. Those of us who worked to get the word out, via social media, about Curlip, who were told ‘We don’t want that’ . Those of us who put our names down as volunteers to help with the physical work on Curlip to be told ” only authorised and qualified people” can be on site, because of ‘safety issues”

So many unanswered questions, that will apparently stay unanswered.

Some of us dropped out for more personal reasons, no one likes to be dismissed. And some of us dropped out when we began to get the sneaking feeling that we were not being told the whole truth, and that questions regarding the handling of money left us feeling that maybe things were not quite as they seemed on the surface.

We deserve some explanation !

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