Month: May 2019

And Irishman and an Englishman

An Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bakery.

The Englishman steals 3 buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves. He says to the Irishman, “That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didn’t even see me.”

The Irishman replied, “That’s just simple thievery, I’ll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results.”

The Irishman then proceeded to call out the owner of the bakery and says, “Sir, I want to show you a magic trick.” The owner was intrigued so he came over to see the magic trick.

The Irishman asked him for a bun and then he proceeded to eat it. He asked 2 more times and after eating them again the owner says, “Okay my friend, where’s the magic trick?”.

The Irishman then said, “Look in the Englishman’s pockets.”

 

Funny Doctor Joke

A man goes into the doctor.

He says, “Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something’s wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you’ll hear it!”

The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man’s thigh only to hear, “Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks.”

“I’ve never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has this been going on.” The doctor asked.

“That’s nothing Doc. put your ear to my knee.”

The doctor put his ear to the man’s knee and heard it say “Man, I really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks!!”

“Sir, I really don’t know what to tell you. I’ve never seen anything like this.” The doctor was dumbfounded.

“Wait Doc, that’s not it. There’s more, just put your ear up to my ankle,” the man urged him.

The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, “Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks please if you will.”

“I have no idea what to tell you,” the doctor said. “There’s nothing about it in my books,” he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. “I can make a well educated guess though. Based on life and all my previous experience I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places.”

Rain!

Snuggled in bed listening to the sound of rain on the roof! So glad we have a tin roof, memories of ‘home” – drenching rain, loud on the tin roof, thunder sounding like it was actually in the room with us, and lightning so bright! Mother used to cover the mirrors during storms, and we would gather in the lounge room to “weather the storm’ in the center of the house. I guess Mother must have heard a story of lightning hitting a mirror, and that’s why she would keep us all safe away from windows and mirrors.

East Gippsland is desperately in need of good, soaking rain. Parts of the area have had rain, but not all, and not enough, there are still drought conditions in many areas. I hope that the rain I am hearing, is falling where it is most needed.